Teach a girl to fish...

After (more or less) bumming around for the better part of 8 months, I have returned to a world of employment that does not involve scrubbing dishes. Rejoice! for it is written: "business casual"! And, lo, her hands be not chapped, and her clothes smell not of coffee...

Though I do, in fact, have a great deal to say about the concept and execution of business casual, that is not what brings me here today. No--a long chain of word-association, daydreaming and procrastination has led me to this: fishnets.

I love fishnets. They provide a corporate-mandated buffer between leg and world, rescuing one from the sag-n-snag properties of pantyhose and the (often seasonally inappropriate) opaque tight. They are just about the only patterned legwear that won't make most woman look dumpy and/or clownish. Fishnets are distilled Old Hollywood glamour.

But! But: there are rules. Of course there are. Unless your outfit is sleek, impeccable, and all-black--steer clear of black stockings. Black fishnets worn improperly are less "Hollywood"and more "Hallowe'en". Go for colour. My personal favourite is a "nude" tone, but burgundy, navy, olive and brown can all work well, as long as they tone in with the rest of your ensemble. In the summertime, you might be able to pull off baby colours like pink, blue and yellow with a light, breezy dress, but proceed with caution. Bright candy colours are not for the faint of heart, and probably won't be welcome at most workplaces, unless you are in a creative field; save these for evenings and weekends, and wear them with simpler, subtler garments. If you're not going for a punklet look, keep your fishnets lint- and rip-free. You probably shouldn't pair them with Docs, either.

Oh, and a more open mesh often looks more fashion-forward than teeny-tiny little holes... within reason.

Unfortunately, a great pair of fishnets can take some hunting down, but--in my opinion--they are absolutely worth it. Like a fantastic pair of earrings or the perfect red lipstick, fishnets can tie a get-up-and-go outfit together in a way that belies its pre-coffee assembly.