Style Statements

"The way in which something is expressed."

This, according to Danielle Laporte of Style Statement, is the definition of "style". If you can express yourself through x, then you have a style of x; finding the truest way of expressing oneself in all aspects of life is the foundation of the business she runs with Carrie McCarthy.

There is a world of difference, of course, between having a style--which everyone does, whether they want to or not--and having Style. I think having the second depends on honesty in the first. When your circumstances, your methods, your appearance, your things light you up instead of dragging you down: that's Style. When everything about you communicates exactly what you want to express, without even trying: Style. When what you have perfectly satisfies you, and you feel comfortable with yourself... You can have style without being in style as long as that style does not lie about you, or to you.

Have you ever scoured a bookstore or stationery store for the perfect journal? Lined or unlined? Leather- or cloth-bound? It has to feel just right in your hand. It must compel your eye, but gently. You are looking for your journal.

I spent the weeks leading up to the turn of the year hunting in this way for a dayplanner. It had to be exactly right, because: a) otherwise I wouldn't be inclined to use it; and, b) it's my life going in there. I go through this with writing implements, handbags... clothes, of course. I am very particular about drinking vessels, especially those for hot beverages. I must spiritually connect with my groceries (not as challenging as it sounds, actually).

Am I psychologically unstable? Well, yes, a little bit. But am I wrong? I don't think so. The key is to be able to make these choices without agonizing over them, and to prioritize the big things that (for you) must be in the "Goldilocks zone" (to borrow a phrase from cosmologists) versus the relatively small things. For many people, having just the right mechanical pencil is a vanishingly minute thing... but when I was spending hours every day with that pencil, drafting garment patterns, it mattered. I happen to think that personal appearance is a very Goldilocks thing, even if many people don't want to face it. Sure, what's inside counts, and you can scoff at fashion, but if you are just throwing on anything for the sake of comfort or modesty or regulations--well, the chances of hitting the thing that's not too hot and not too cold are not in your favour, and anything else is a form of lying to yourself and everyone around you.

I am not talking about labels, or price, or conspicuous consumption. Yes, wearing your wealth on your sleeve says something; but it is not the only thing there is to be said, and certainly not the most sophisticated. The messages we send through our choices are subtle, and perhaps not even translatable. Slowly but surely, though, we can cultivate peace and happiness in our lives by making choices that feel just right.