Panty Pact

I, the undersigned, do solemnly swear, from this day forward, to respect and uphold the laws of correct undergarment maintenance, as set forth in the Care Instructions; to reassess the condition and fit of such garments at regular intervals, initiating immediate corrective measures when necessary; and, to exercise prudent discretion in assigning undergarments to wardrobe units ("outfits"), ensuring that the undercover nature of the garment(s) remains uncompromised; so help me God/other [choose one].